4/6/09 First Entry

So, I was just at my therapists office today dealing with a host of issues (to be discussed later, maybe). Not the least of which is learning how to navigate life with 2 soon to be 3 teenage girls. 17, 16, and 13 (well almost). I have a 10 year old daughter also, but she is still not monsterous. NOT YET. I know it's coming. I KNOW IT'S COMING!

So, I'm sitting in the therapists office trying to use my 60, ok 50 minutes wisely. Dealing with MY issues, which inenvitably always leads back to my daughters and how to be a "good Mom". How am I doing as a Mom? How are we doing, my husband and I as parents? How will we survive this? I mean I hate to say it but it feels like an assult. I love my girls. I mean I love them as much as everyone else loves their kids. They are what makes my heart sing. Unless they are making it shatter that is. They are what brings me to tears of joy. Unless they are bringing me to my knees in tears of heartache and sadness. I LOVE THEM. I just don't know how much I like them most of the time. I mean if I listen to Dr. Phil...which I do almost daily. I would say that I need to reason with them. Find their currency and negotiate a good family plan that includes both rewards and consequences. If I were to listen to Dr. James Dobson, I would start with some tough love. Biblically based training, that would hopefully lead to a socially, ethically, morally responsible adult. But, I just can't find the magic bullet. I know I'm not alone. I mean I just watched Oprah. She was talking to Mom's of young children and how their lives changes after having children. "The things no one tells you before you have kids". I agree with the fact that Mom's don't really tell eachother how bad it is sometimes.

I saw a study not long ago that said the of the 2500 parents polled 70% SEVENTY PERCENT said that if they'd known what was lying ahead when they decided, or in some cases happened thankfully to get pregnant (LOL!) in the teenage years that they would NOT have had children!!! At first I pretended to be one of those Moms that would have a jaw dropping reaction. One that resembled "Oh that is TERRIBLE". Instead I had to acknowledge my true feelings. A little trick I have picked up in therapy. I had to be honest with myself and own the fact that I would probably be one of those people?! One of the 70%, SCARY> I mean I have 4 daughters for Pete's sake. They will all eventually be teenagers right?



I just don't have the time or space right now to go sit down with a group of women that would talk me thru the trials of these crazy years. I want to connect, and this is the easiest place.

A couple of reasons.

1.We aren't looking at each other...it's easier to be honest when we aren't looking at each other.

2. It doesn't interfere with our servant hood as mothers, wives, employees, business owners...whatever your other hats may be.

3. I could use the help, advice, and support.



Hopefully it will be a funny but "real" place to go for a little pat-on-the-back, or kick-in-the-pants, or just a plain old place to vent and find peace.



Here's how it works:

A question of the day, and let the games begin...sound off. Be honest, real and as gritty as you can be. I NEED a place, an open forum. Let'r Rip Mom's.



Day 1 Question of the Day: Should we start off light? Nah!



Do you snoop (read txt messages, search room, car, notebooks, closet, drawers, pockets etc.)? If you find something that is not dangerous but not acceptable what do you do? Confront her and tell her that you were snooping or just keep looking and monitoring what is happening?



I personally snoop. I snoop all of the time. Almost every morning when my girls go to school. I usually try to make it look like I am doing them a "favor" and cleaning their room or something nice like that. But really I am reading and snooping thru everything I can find in their rooms. I have come across a few not criminal, but less than pleasing notes, txt messages, and emails. I have tried to be creative in my attempts to foil their plans. But, they are clever! But if I found something that was potentially damaging or dangerous I would absolutely confront my daughters. Even if it meant that they may find better ways to hide their teenage stupidness.



Ok now you guys. Is it right? Wrong? Sick? Nosey? Controlling? All of the above?